Hipster Tires

*A guest post by Craig L.*

oh snap this a hella good deal we got hipster tires off the chain they red and yellow as f*** front ones look like new but back ones has a few skids in them because we don't has no breaks because we so raw but you can use them for like a jillion thousand miles use these rubbahs for anything you need besides birth control they so raw oh snap I be holding them right now you need this s*** it says they are 700cm but that doesn't make any g** d*** sense because they aren't 23 feet in diameter so some b**** is lying to us but they are 25 mm wide so they roll faster than all yo b**** a***** on ecstasy brand is innova and they so fresh because they so colorful they hurt your eyes to look at 15 dolla or best offer for a pair, we got one pair in red and one in yellow hot d*** get em while they in season.

TUBOE

*This review was written on August 9th, 2016.*

I didn't think it could be done, but done it has been: TUBOE is #1! That's right, the new album by the indie post-neo-classical-pop-minimal super band TUBOE, "Shadow Brilliant," has reach the top spot on Billboard's Hot 100.

TUBOE, a tuba and oboe-led rock dectet, is remarkable for many reasons, but mostly for managing to integrate the bloated brass tone of the tuba with the constipated reed tone of the oboe to create the ultra-minimal ionic sonosphere scape-rock sound they're known for.

But what's even more astonishing is that they're number one. I mean, really? Who's listening?? It's a tuba and an oboe making alternately breathy and honky sounds in a plane hangar to the backdrop of a gentle breeze and the occasional hum of a jet engine. For 53 minutes.

Something like this was bound to happen. It's the way of things these days: the trends that should never die barely reach maturity, and the trends that should never have been conceived live on until they're utterly senile.

Oh, I nearly forgot!: TUBOE blows.